Eternal Night
by SmileKylz
Summary: Edward's POV of the Goodbye scene in New Moon. R&R!
1. Part One: Preparation

**A/N: As all of you should know, today is Bella and Edward's wedding anniversary. In celebration, I have decided to post a small little fanfiction in Edward's POV from New Moon that I've been meaning to write for I believe almost three year. Suprisingly, , I came across one of my old notebooks that held a draft of what you are about to read. Call it a sign or what you will, but I'm so happy to have returned back to the Fanfiction world and be able to share my version of the "goodbye scene" with you. **

**Disclaimer: As much as I would like to own Twilight and all things associated with it, kudos to Stephenie Meyer for creating such an enticing world that still, to this day, I love to live in. The dialogue and storyline is taken from New Moon, but the rest is my as seen through Edward's eyes. **

**Enjoy!:)**

EPOV-

I sat in my Volvo, parked in front of Bella's house, the calming music radiating from my stereo attempting to calm my nerves.

I sighed. Not even Debussy could prepare me for the feat that I was about to perform. I had to remind myself that it was the best for Bella. I needed to give her a chance at a normal, happy, human life.

One void of me.

A brief glimpse of Bella on a porch swing, smiling, cradling a small infant in her arms, flashed in front of my eyes.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, cringing at the vivid mental picture. I wasn't wholly certain of the eternal damnation of my kind, but I couldn't risk something as exquisite as Bella's soul.

I would do anything, _anything _to give Bella what a normal human should desire. What I wouldn't do to have the ability to grow old with her…..

But it was impossible. And since she was so set on not staying human, no matter how heart-breaking it might be, I had to do the right thing here.

I was out of other options. I had to leave her.

For a brief moment, Bella's face crossed my mind. She stared back at me, her warm chocolate eyes wide with confusion.

"I don't believe you, Edward," her angelic voice crooned with stubbornness. "You can't leave me."

Suddenly, Bella's face contoured in pain, that little pucker of her lip quivering as she took in my unspoken words. Her dazzling face stricken with tears…

"Get ahold of yourself, Edward," I said, and was surprised to hear how agonized my voice sounded.

If I was going to do this, I couldn't have any slips in my bravado. No matter how many hours it may take, no matter how much grief I would have to endure, I needed to Bella to thoroughly believe the words that I was going to say. I needed to be able to convince her that I didn't love her anymore.

"A clean break," I remember Alice saying as she saw my plans in her vision and we said our goodbyes a few days before. Even though she wasn't happy about this, she too, knew it was in Bella's best interest.

At the mention of Alice, I groaned, as I could hear Bella's monster engine of truck roaring from over a mile away.

_You can do this. _

I watched as she pulled into her driveway, pausing to close my eyes and take a deep breath.

Could a dead heart break? It felt like mine could.

Closing the gap between us as she got out of the car, I was empty, hollow. Without so much as thinking, I reached out to take the book bag from her hands, and threw it in to the back of her truck.

_Let's get this over with. You can survive this- it's to protect Bella. _

A whiff of her hair blowing through the Fork's air stifled me and caught me off guard. I inhaled, the enticing mixture of freesia among other things filling my nostrils.

Her scent was forever permeated in my memory.

Our gazes met, and as I stared into Bella's eyes, it was clear she knew something was up. I could hear the nervous stammer of her heart, and the demand for answers was clear across her face.

So badly did I want to reach out to stroke her cheek, to watch as the blush crept up through her face, her heart beating wildly in response to my touch. So badly did I want to press my lips to hers one more time, to feel the warmth of her embrace. To hold her against me. To be together as fire and ice.

But if I did so much as kiss her, I would never be able to get myself to leave.

"Come for a walk with me," I suggested quickly, to tear myself away from any temptation.

Taking her hand in mine, I tried not to focus on the fact that this was the last time I was ever going to hold her hand again.

I never wanted to let go.

I was careful not to bring her too far into the forest, pulling Bella towards the east side of her yard, the trees forming a canopy above our heads. Once we were on the path, I slowly turned to face her.

I leaned across a tree for support, my legs abruptly feeling weak and unstable. I could feel myself slowly starting to break down, knowing what I was about to do.

How long am I going to be able to last? Can I actually bear to hurt Bella in this way?

"Okay, let's talk," she said, trying to hide the alarm from her face, attempting to sound brave.

With another sharp intake of breath, I masked all of my emotions my vampire skin so easily allowed me to hide. I became the stone I really was.

"Bella, we're leaving."

**A/N: As much as I would like to finish off the scene, I do have school tomorrow and I have homework to attend to. **

** I know a lot of people say this and it's tedious to read- I know! I'm a reader too!- , but please review. It only takes a few seconds, and not only does it make my day, but it helps me cultivate as a writer. I put a lot of work into my fanfics, and I really appreciate it when I receive feedback for my writings. **

** So review, review, review! And who knows? Maybe you'll see an update in the next day or two ;)**

**Also, for any of you all who a twitter enthusiasts and would like to follow me on twitter, I'm smileykylie720:)**


	2. Part Two: Torment

**A/N: I didn't get the reaction I was wanted but I'm going to stick it through and finish the goodbye scene. I'm hoping that by finishing it, it will convince all of ya'll to review. (*Hint. *Hint)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the dialogue used the characters, nor the storyline. As much as I would like to, all credit goes to Stephenie Meyer. This is just my take on how I believe Edward's view would be of the goodbye scene in New Moon. **

EPOV:

The trenchant and disarrayed response radiating from her eyes was tormenting me. My transformation from human to vampire had no pain compared to this. I would take that a thousand times- I would rather be burned alive than have to face what I was having to do.

"Why now?Another year-"

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

I watched as Bella considered this, piecing apart my words to find their meaning. With confusion evident across her expression, she stared at me. I forced myself to stare back, cold and platonic.

Being as stubborn as she was, would she be able to comprehend what I was trying to convey?

"When you say _we_-" If my ears weren't so ample I might not have been able to hear what she had just said.

"I mean my family and myself." Slow and deliberate, each word driving a wedge between Bella and myself- slicing away the relationship I had once placed everything in.

The relationship that was doomed from the start.

Utterly confused, Bella shook her head back and forth as if to clear it. I waited for her to speak, valuing these last treasured moments with her that I had left.

Was she be able to see through my skillful facade? If I knew Bella, she would not let me go without a fight. It wasn't going to be easy to convince her of my lie.

"Okay," She said with as much determination as she could possibly muster. "I'll come with you."

Alas, I was right. I looked like I further needed to explain myself.

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going..." I struggled to find the right word. "it's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me," She insisted.

This was so utterly anguishing! How much more of this can I truly bear? Alice said I was strong enough to leave her- there was proof in one of her visions- but was I really?

"I'm no good for you Bella," I said, the words piercing my dead heart with infernos arrow.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the very best part of my life."

Here was my punishment for appreciating the bouquet, for going against nature. It was like purgatory, right in the middle of hell.

I _deserved _this torture.

"My world is not for you,"_ I'm not supposed to exist. You are. If it wasn't for me, you would be content with living a full life._

"What happened with Jasper- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"

At the mention of what happened the other night, I did my best to stay in the moment and not relive the past.

"You're right," I agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-"

Internally blanching at the mention of last spring- when Bella was, yet again, injured because of me- I interrupted her train of speech. "As long as that was best for you."

I wanted to groan. My selfish nature was always causing more and more problems. It seemed that I could never let things go.

"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" She shouted, on the verge of hysteria. I did everything in my power to stay in my place, to let the words steam out of the kettle, halting myself from calming her from the storm. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you- it's yours already!"

For all the love that was holy! Did she have to make it anymore difficult than it already was?!

She was so observant- she never missed anything. Eyes unfocused, I stared blankly at the ground, avoiding Bella's eyes.

For a brief moment, I saw an image of Bella, curled up in her bed on that first night I watched her sleep- the night she uttered my name changing me forever.

I saw her in the meadow- on the day when we discovered the true strength of our feelings for each other. When I sat, listening to her heart, not even tempted when I could smell the blood through her veins.

I could spend forever there with her and be completely myself.

That same image was now tainted in my mind as I saw Bella in that same meadow, smiling at me with fierce, red eyes.

_No. _

My mouth turned downward and twisted in agony. The Bella Alice saw in her visions, reminded me of why I was here.

Bella could never become one of me.

Regaining control of myself, I looked at her with the most frigid stare I could gather.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me," I said carefully.

I was thankful for the ability to mask my emotions so well, or else I might never have been able to leave her.

I studied her face, the excruciating pain trying to surface, but I pushed it down, saving it for later.

When I was broken and alone.

Bella murmured the words a few times aloud- although I was sure it was intended to be repeated in her head, and bit down on her lip. Hard.

"You... don't... want me?" Every word hitting me like a million little knives. Whatever was left of my heart was torn into jagged diminutive pieces.

"No," I lied and gazed at Bella coldly.

**A/N: As I was writing, I noticed the time and realized I have neglected an essay and a math assignment that's due tomorrow, and now, because I devoted so much time into writing this deary little fanfiction, I only have an hour to due them. D: **

** So, I apologize, for having to stop in such a horrible place in the story. But, I really do appreciate all of your reviews. It only takes a second of your time. Even if you post a smiley face (which was the first review I received- shoutout to JustCallMeRiley:P) it really does make my day. **

** Seriously guys, review as if Bella and Edward's relationship depended on it. Because it does. ;) **

** A final note: if any of ya'll have some suggestions, ideas for what track I should take after I finish the goodbye scene or whatever, let me know! Pm me and I'll get back. **

** You can also follow me on Twitter smileykylie720. **

** I'd love to hear from you!**


	3. Part Three: The End

**A/N: Sorry it's been awhile since I've updated. I've been lazy and I've had a lot of schoolwork to do. But I'm updating now, so enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. The dialogue is borrowed from Stephenie Meyer and this is my take on Edward and his point of view in the goodbye scene. **

I stared detachedly into Bella eyes, contravention flaming inside of me. She stared back, uncomprehending. Searching for any sense of ambiguity to the word I had just spoken, her warm chocolate eyes were like guarded grenades: about to go off at any second.

"Well, that changes things," She murmured, astonishingly composed.

Did she not understand what I was trying to tell her? Was she really that stubborn?

Then again, it _was_ plausible that she was in shock…. I suddenly felt the need to reassure her of my motives for leaving- whether for me more or for her, I wasn't sure.

Not sure I could stand looking into her face again; I frowned desolately into the trees, slipping in my composure. "Of course, I'll always love you" -_Keep it light_, I reminded myself.- "…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…" I struggled to find the appropriate term. "_tired_ of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human."

I turned back to face her, the coldness of the monster surfacing. "I've let this go on for much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

I've taken away so much…

"Don't," Bella whispered dejectedly, cognizance finally sinking in. "Don't do this."

Bella's words were far too late. I was already in too deep; there was no turning back- even if I wanted to.

I stared at her, shaken at how utterly destroyed Bella looked in front of me. She was falling apart, right in front of my eyes.

"You're not good for me, Bella," I wanted to laugh at the irony of my words. She was _too_ good for me, far too good. I never deserved her.

Bella struggled to find the right way to respond. More than once she opened her mouth as if to say something, but closed it tightly, biting her lip in thought.

"If… that's what you want." She murmured.

I nodded, trying to see _through _Bella and to not focus on how much pain I must be causing her.

For once, I was glad that I was unable to read Bella's mind. _Seeing _Bella this way was one thing, but _listening _to it…

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," I said, thinking suddenly of Bella's startling capability for finding trouble. I would never be able to be at peace- as much as I could be without her- if I thought that for one second there was a chance she would get herself hurt.

My efforts were short lived; as I observed forlornly the reason for existence, numbly and slowly start to crumble. I idly wondered if this would be how I would look if I wasn't able to seal myself away from my true emotions.

Bella must've seen my momentary slip of my composure, because a somewhat sense of puzzlement flashed across her face. I quickly collected myself, waiting for her response.

"Anything," she swore, her voice cracking up an octave.

My serene mask slipped again, as my molten insides, smoldered the expression on my outside.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," I ordered, no longer being able to stay detached. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

As Bella nodded, a sense of relief rushed through me.

I had to remind myself to stay composed- for Bella. Suddenly, I felt as if I were a million miles away.

Coming up quickly with a reason for my demand, I felt myself begin to cool down. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself- for him."

"I will," Bella attempted to nod. She looked like she was going to pass out. I was thankful at that moment, for leaving the note by the telephone, so Charlie would know where to find Bella.

"And I'll make you a promise in return," I said, each word spoken slowly. If I wanted Bella to move on, I needed to destroy any hope of my reappearance. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I never existed."

And it was true- I had disposed all evidence of my existence. Not wanting to truly rid of it completely, I hid it underneath the floors in Bella's bedroom. I knew it was silly, but I wanted Bella to have a part of me there with her. Even though I wanted her to move on and be happy, I couldn't let her forget me completely.

Not wanting to accept that my last few moments with her were drawing to an end, I did everything in my power not to replay in my mind what I just said.

It began to draw on me, hitting me like a wrecking ball. This would be the last time I would ever see her.

Bella turned green, shaking. She blinked a few times, as if she were trying to make sense of her surroundings.

I smiled at her gently. "Don't worry. You're human- your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for you kind." It was reassurance- for both of us.

"And your memories?" Bella choked back at me, looking like she was going to break down any second.

"Well," What was I supposed to say? "I won't forget. But _my _kind…" _Lie. _"We're very easily distracted."

I smiled at her again, falsely tranquil.

I didn't know how much longer it would be until my composure slipped again. I took a step away from Bella. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

"Alice isn't coming back," Bella bumbled nearly below a whisper. I wasn't even quite sure if she spoke them.

I shook my head slowly, concentrating on Bella's face. I was running out of time with her- I needed to savor every moment.

"No. They're all gone," I told her. "I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?"

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."

In all actuality, Alice left because of me- more so for "motivation"- as she called it- than anything else. Bella, Alice saw, would've reacted the same way regardless.

For a moment, I imagined that I was dreaming- if I could dream- and that this was all a figment of my imagination. When I woke up, I would be back in Chicago- so many years ago, when I was human.

Before my life changed forever.

My fantasy ephemeral, I became, yet again, disturbed by Bella's fragmented gaze.

"Goodbye, Bella," I said calmly, and waited for Bella to beg me to stay. It was unorthodox for her to believe everything I was saying so quickly.

"Wait!" Bella said, reaching out for me but not moving forward.

For a split second, I reached for her too, momentarily relishing at the smooth heat coming off of her skin. Handcuffing her wrists with my hands, I holstered them to her sides, leaning down and pressing my lips to her forehead. I pulled away before I was tempted to kiss her anywhere else- there was only so much I could bear, after all.

"Take care of yourself," I breathed, taking in her scent, one last time. Closing my eyes in bliss, I only opened them when I turned fully away from Bella's figure.

With a deep breath, I began to run, the usual rush of adrenaline that coursed through me, absent. In my Volvo, I pounded on the gas, and drove away, without a second glance.

**A/N: So that totally didn't come out the way I wanted it to, but my sister is waiting for me to play some game called Slender…? Something like that. **

**Anyways, I'll most likely go back and edit it in the next few days or so, but for now, enjoy the really rough, rough draft:P **

**If you want to find out what happens to dear ol' Eddie, R&R! Or else I won't updateee;) **

**F/N: I love hearing from you! So, if you have any suggestions, etc. pm me! **

**Oh, and if you didn't already know this, and want to follow me on twitter, my accounts smileykylie720. **


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